


How many times can a heart break?

by Applesaday



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Season 5 deviation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 07:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3684330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applesaday/pseuds/Applesaday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Storybrooke was where everything started. And where everything ended. Regina couldn't give up now. Emma would never give up so easily, she hadn't done so during the countless times that things seemed bleak or hopeless, so neither would she. Looking up, she glanced at the dagger, still in her hand, and made a promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the thing. This was written before the finale aired, and there were a lot of spoilers for the finale posted, and my ideas just started running away from me and forming a story, so I decided to write it! Some things might not match to the show, so just bear with me.
> 
> It'll be angsty, so I'd suggest leaving your feels at the door before proceeding.
> 
> Enjoy!

_ _

By: [Misslane](http://misslane1981.tumblr.com/post/130055210253/poster-based-on-keepapplesaday)

* * *

 

_"That page wasn't a prediction," the Apprentice said with a twinkle of his eyes. "It was merely reassuring you that one day, you would get a happy ending."_

_"But with whom?" Regina asked, desperate for an answer. It wasn't Robin, so who could it be?_

_"That is up to you, but I feel like you already know."_

* * *

It had all come to this.

The past day had been absolute madness. A wild trip to the Enchanted Forest, and now they were back in Storybrooke. It was always like that, wasn't it? Storybrooke was where everything started.

And where everything ended.

Emma stood in the middle of the street, a wild storm brewing around her. There were people all around her: Hook, Hood, and her parents, but she paid them no mind.

No, she only had eyes for one person. Regina. The amazing woman who had sacrificed so much for Emma in the past week, now stood, possessed as the Dark One's dagger was seemingly sucking away all of her light magic.

"Emma please, don't do this!" Mary Margaret pleaded, sobbing in David's arms. She still hadn't cleared the air with them, hadn't talked to them since the night they had admitted that they lied to her. She had been too angry, felt too betrayed, and she still did.

Ignoring her mother, Emma moved forward again, only to be stopped by a firm hand on her wrist. Hook. "Emma, please, think about what you're doing."

Whipping around, she wrenched her arm away with as much force as she could muster. "No! I don't have to think, I need to save Regina!"

"There has to be another way! Think about what you're sacrificing; your happy ending!" Hook insisted. He still had such a simple way of viewing the world, and Emma was tired of it.

"You still don't get it do you? The Author and the Apprentice both confirmed it: happy endings aren't a finite thing, and right now, I need to save Regina: my family." She sighed and after a quick glance to Regina, who didn't have much time left, she added, "Look, I know you have this wonderful fantasy about your happy ending, but it's not mine. It never was. I'm sorry, I  _have_  to do this."

Turning back, she quickly went to grab the dagger lying on the ground, and thrust it up into the air before anyone could try to stop her.

Suddenly, the sounds of the storm and of the people pleading and yelling her name all died out. It was silent. Suddenly a whoosh thrummed by her ears, and she felt the power coursing through the air - away from Regina - towards her.

"Emma?" She heard it clearly, even though it was barely louder than a broken whisper, and saw Regina's panic-stricken face looking at her, realizing what she was doing. "Emma, what are you doing?!" Louder, more forceful.

All she could do was offer an encouraging smile, the kind that she had offered countless times before, and a wink.

Regina felt like her heart had plummeted to her stomach. "Emma stop!" she tried again to plead, but Emma couldn't - or wouldn't - hear her.

The dagger's partial draining left Regina weak, so she stumbled, but someone caught her. Robin. No, he hadn't caught her, he was holding her back, stopping her from doing anything. From rescuing Emma.

"Let go of me!" she exclaimed, stepping on his foot and elbowing him. He yelped and groaned, and Regina savagely thought,  _good_ , before she wildly looked around for something,  _anything_ , that would save Emma. But she saw nothing. There was nothing.

The storm grew stronger, more forceful, surrounding Emma until no one could see her. Then, like a giant vacuum had been turned on, all the clouds were sucked inwards towards the dagger.

And with the seemingly mundane fall of a wavy dagger onto the damp gravel, everything stopped.

The five of them stood, seemingly frozen, until Mary Margaret gave a strangled whimper, seemingly breaking them from their trance. Regina slowly, on auto-pilot even, made her way to the fallen dagger, and with shaking hands, she picked it up, not daring to turn the blade around, and see what was written on the other side. She saw her reflection on the silver, between the intricate patterns. She was pale, tears were pooling at her eyes; she barely looked like herself.

"Is she...?" A man's voice tried to ask, but couldn't get the words out. Regina couldn't even register who said it, she couldn't discern anything but the blade in front of her. She turned it around and saw a clear name etched, a name she had prayed wouldn't be on it.  _Emma Swan_.

No.

Her legs gave way under her, and she fell onto her knees, keeping a tight grip on the dagger as her whole body shook with a wracking sob.

It had all been for naught. The search for the Author, the talk with the Apprentice, finding out that her happy ending was her own to make, that a ripped page depicting something from a lifetime ago meant only hope when she needed it most, rather than a prediction. It was all for nothing.

Emma, her family, her partner raising Henry, her friend, was lost.

What could've been hours later, she felt a jacket thrown over her with the caution of someone who was afraid of getting mauled by her but still wanted to make sure she was warm. It was David's jacket, she was certain of it, and it reminded her so much of Emma.

Regina couldn't give up now. Emma would never give up so easily, she hadn't done so during the countless times that things seemed bleak or hopeless, so neither would she.

Looking up, she glanced at the dagger, still in her hand, and made a promise.

_I will find you Emma, if it's the last thing I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will accept tears as payment.
> 
> Sooooo, should I start running away now?


	2. Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is being continued!
> 
> I swear if winning the lottery was as easy as guessing if I'm going to continue a fic, you'd all be rich.
> 
> Anyway! Exciting stuff ahead. Like I mentioned in my [newly edited] AN for chapter 1, the first chapter does veer off from how the finale ended up being [though some parts were kinda accurate], and how things resolved with Emma's parents.
> 
> So please take the final eps' happenings lightly. If something is different here than it is on the show, that's why.

They had migrated into Granny's Diner, but Regina didn't remember when or how it had happened. One moment she was kneeling on wet asphalt, the next she was sitting in a booth at Granny's as if nothing had happened, and they were celebrating having returned from that strange opposite world of the Author's. But it wasn't so simple.

No, Emma was gone, and she was ready to chalk this up to a bad nightmare, something she could just wake up from and hope that tomorrow Emma would come waltzing into her office with an easy smile on her face and a new story to tell. But the dagger right in front of her - she hadn't let it go, and the vice grip she had on it was akin to someone holding a lifeline - brandishing Emma's name showed that this was very real.

The door opened and Belle was there, Henry beside her. Henry, how was she going to explain this to him? One of his mothers were gone after he worked so hard to save his other mother in the opposite Enchanted Forest.

"Mom? What's going on?" Henry approached her, his brow furrowed, almost scared to ask, his eyes glancing at the dagger in her hand. Thankfully it was down-turned so he didn't see the name etched on it in black.

Seeing that she had no chance to escape, and that she wouldn't lie to her son, she got out of the booth and stood up, flashing what she hoped was a comforting smile. He didn't seem to be too convinced, but she wanted to have him alone when she spoke about what happened. Turning to the Charmings, she gave a brusque nod before she beckoned Henry to come with her and heading outside the diner, her arm around his shoulders. With a pang, she noted that he was nearly her height. Where had the time gone?

She was scatterbrained right now. She couldn't focus on any one thing. Her mind kept jumping around, trying to make sense of what was going on. But she managed to clear her mind enough to teleport them to the living room of their house.

Henry blinked ever so slightly, adjusting to the new surroundings. "Mom, what happened?" he insisted.

"Sit down, Henry." Her voice sounded scratchy. Whether it was from how she screamed herself hoarse while Emma was being sucked in by the darkness, or whether it was that she hadn't used her voice since then, she couldn't decide. But she cleared her throat and hoped it helped.

Henry did as he was told to. He had his hands on his knees, clutching them ever so slightly in a way that she knew was him displaying his nerves. He was also nibbling the corner of his lip, and she wished she didn't have to deliver the bad news to him.

"Henry," Regina began as she sat down beside him. "Tonight, something happened."

"With Gold?" he asked, eyeing the dagger she had yet to let go. The last he had heard, everyone was off to Gold's shop because Belle had burst into the diner, exclaiming that her husband was near the end of his life and needed help. Regina had told Henry to go with the Charmings to their apartment, while she had gone with Emma and Belle to the pawnshop.

Not even 15 minutes later, Belle had showed up. Henry's brief hope that she was delivering good news was squandered with a hushed explanation moving his grandparents into action; he knew something must be seriously wrong, especially when they just told him to stay put with Belle, and the latter just refused to answer any questions. He wanted to run off and find answers for himself, but Belle was an expert at thwarting his plans. So he stayed still, the pit of his stomach plummeting each minute that passed. Especially when the lights flickered.

"Yes. The Apprentice managed to remove the darkness from him, but it wasn't contained properly. It fled out into the street, and next thing we knew, it was coming for us." Regina remembered rushing out into the street with Emma in tow, stopping in the middle of the road when they lost track of it, and how the Charmings along with Hook and Hood had showed up.

"It tried to tether itself to me, but Emma-" her voice broke a bit, hard to tell Henry what happened.

But Henry didn't need her to say anything. He was pretty sure he could guess what happened. With a shaky hand, he reached to place his hand over her own, where it was curled around the dagger. Adding a bit of pressure, he managed to turn her wrist so the other side of the dagger was facing him. When the name registered on his mind, he released his grip and his breath caught. "Is she-"

"She disappeared," Regina hollowly said, as if that was any true reassurance.

"Can't you summon her?" Henry asked.

Could she really admit to Henry that she was scared of doing so? She didn't know what to expect, or what would happen. Maybe nothing would happen. Regina wasn't sure which one would be worse. "I'll try later. Right now, I just wanted to let you know what was going on, and you should probably head to bed. It's late, and this past week has been hard on everyone. I'll be right here if you need me, okay?"

Henry gave a small smile, glad for the honesty. He rushed forward to hug her, and she dropped the dagger onto her lap as she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. Although she was worried, she felt the need to voice her reassurance. "We'll get her back. I promise."

Once they parted, Henry was grinning, eyes misty. "I know. We're her family."

She gave a watery smile and sniffed, wiping the corner of his eyes. "Yes we are. But we're not going to be of much help if we're sleep deprived. If anything happens, I'll let you know."

Agreeing, Henry gave her one last hug and a kiss to her cheek before he headed up to bed. Once alone, Regina once more took hold of the dagger, exploring the infinite intricacies of the design.

She took a deep breath, and realized she would need alcohol to do this.

* * *

"Wakey wakey, dearie."

Emma squeezed her eyes shut even more, willing the annoying and yet familiar voice to just disappear.

"Oh how exciting. You're going to sleep through your stead as the Dark One?" the voice now grew bored.

Finding it impossible to drown out the voice, she opened her eyes, ready to chew them out for disturbing her slumber. It was night time, the stars overhead looking delightful between the canopy of trees. Trees? She was outside, lying on dirt and moss. Scrambling to stand up, she saw that she was right beside the Wishing Well. Then she saw who was keeping her company.

"Gold? What-"

The man was standing just as he always did, a powerful stance, cane in the middle, both hands gently gripping the gilded tip. But what was peculiar was that he seemed relatively translucent.

"Welcome to being the Dark One, dearie. As I'm currently in a coma, I'm free to be your 'guide' through this new and  _exciting_  process." Despite not making any hand gestures, she could tell from his tone and smirk that he was mocking her entirely.

"Well you can just go back to your body, I don't think having you teach me anything will end well," Emma grumbled, taking stock of herself as she vaguely shooed him off. She was wearing the same clothes as she remembered, but she felt different. There was a pull, one that she wasn't understanding quite yet.

"Oh believe you me, I'm not exactly doing this out of the goodness of my heart, Ms. Swan. I have tried to walk away, but I find that if I get too far away from you, I am subjected to a nice round of pain, and my body cripples. So I suppose we're stuck together for the time being."

Emma grimaced. "As if becoming the Dark One wasn't enough."

Gold chuckled, and flourished his hand towards where the town could be seen down the hill and through the trees. "Ah, but a playground full of new victims. You'll find your fun soon enough."

"No, I won't allow the darkness to take hold of me," Emma said, her fists clenched, voice steely and determined.

"So noble. I can see you really were the perfect candidate to being the Saviour. But now you're on the opposite side of the playing field, and you'll find that you'll want to have fun and you'll enjoy being evil. Can't you just  _feel_  it brimming in the surface? That  _need_  to cause mayhem and chaos? The feeling of power and desire? To wrong those who have wronged you?"

"Shut up!" Emma exclaimed, not worried about who might hear. When a nearby boulder imploded, Gold smirked wider.

"It seems that your magic is inclined to agree with me. You will grow to embrace the darkness."

Emma clutched at her head, "Why won't you just shut up?!"

"For the same reason that I wonder why you're fighting this. Who are you trying to maintain the image of good for? Your parents? The ones who tricked and deceived their way into creating your image of goodness, while also shaping your entire life?

"Or perhaps the pirate? No no, I can see he's gone from your thoughts. Oh of course," here Gold chuckles. "The Mills family. A noble endeavour, but take it from someone who has tried to juggle a family and being the Dark One: it won't work."

Emma wasn't deterred. "Watch me."

To prove her point, she began to walk away, but was then wracked with an unbearable pain starting from her heart spreading to her entire body, making her feel like she was being electrocuted. Granted, she had never been electrocuted, but she surmised the feeling must be very similar. She collapsed and clutched at the ground, scrambling to move back. "What the hell was that?" she panted after the pain had dissipated a bit.

"Well then, I believe I might have been slightly incorrect in my assessment. I believe this is our little boundary. Our new home so to speak. We are tethered to this well here, and unable to move until summoned."

She moved to stand up again, wiping the legs of her pants and her palms, ridding of the dust that had gathered. "Why though?"

"Don't you understand, Ms. Swan? The purpose of the Dark One is to have immeasurable power. Something akin to a genie, so to speak. And what do genies do?" he asked, turning ever so slightly to the sign in front of the well.

Emma scrunched up her face in distaste. "Don't tell me this is my genie lamp?" when he gave her a knowing look, she groaned. "Seriously? We're doing the whole 'phenomenal cosmic powers, itty-bitty living space' thing?"

Gold blinked. "I have absolutely no idea what you are saying, but suppose that is the case."

Emma went to sit down, her back against the well. "So we just wait here we're summoned?"

Going to sit down by a boulder that was still intact, he said, "I believe only  _you_  will get to enjoy the freedom. I am stuck here indefinitely."

"But can't Belle-"

It was clearly the wrong thing to say, guessing by his darkened expression and clipped answer. "Belle and I are clearly not seeing eye to eye. Besides, I am not under any curse, so no kiss, true love or not, can save me. I suppose I can only put my faith in your world's modern medicine and doctors."

Suddenly, Emma felt vibrations, and a pull to take her somewhere. 'I summon thee' was echoing in her mind in a vaguely familiar voice. "What's happening?"

Gold chuckled. "You are being summoned by the one holding your dagger. I wouldn't fight it if I were you, unless you want to experience the crippling pain yet again?"

Deciding that he did have a point, Emma stood up, took a deep breath, and let her magic take her to whoever was needing her.

* * *

Regina was sure it hadn't worked. Perhaps it was for the best.

Then dark navy blue smoke billowed in front of her, and before she could compose herself into an impassive stance, Emma was standing in front of her.

For her part, Emma was looking positively baffled, gaping ever so slightly at who had summoned her.

"So, what can I do for you?" Emma asked with a bit of a smirk, silently hoping she was displaying enough bravado that she was positive she didn't have at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for today!
> 
> More will come with figuring out how Emma is doing in more detail.
> 
> So, is there still interest? I'd love to know what you think of this.
> 
> Next up will be drabbles, followed by Date in the Name of the Law, and Such a Heavenly View!


	3. Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go!
> 
> I am back and I've got more angst for this story. Also the beautiful new cover on the first chapter is due to the incomparable Miss Lane!
> 
> So, I think we can all agree that 5a was terrible, and the way they dealt with it could've been so much better, so I will venture to make this a story worthy of what the plot should've been.
> 
> Let's get this started, I hope everyone enjoys!

"Emma." It was said as a breathy whisper, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She was right there, looking exactly like she'd last seen her. But something in the air was different. Still, she just opened with the cordial, "How're you?"

"Confused, I guess," Emma softly responded, plopping down on the couch. She quickly glanced at the tumbler nearby, and licked her lips.

"Would you like some?" she asked, having noticed the look. It was easy to pretend everything was the same, that they were talking after a long day, just friends.

Emma made a face. "I'm not sure I want to know what alcohol would do to my newly minted dark soul."

Sitting down beside her, Regina frowned. "I'm sure you're not fully dark Emma. Certainly things might change, but we can help."

"We?" Emma repeated, glancing at the brunette. She was avoiding actively looking at her for long periods of time, afraid of what she might see. Disappointment, anger, fear.

Regina nodded. "Yes, we. Your family. We will get the darkness out of you."

Emma let out a mirthless laugh, hands massaging her kneecaps as if that would make a difference. "There's only one way to do that, killing me."

Nostrils flaring, Regina felt emboldened enough to reach out and gently grasp Emma's chin with her forefinger and thumb, coaxing the blonde to face her. "I refuse to believe that, and if I have hope, then you can be damned sure I will do it. Gold got the darkness taken out of him, surely there's a similar way."

"I suppose." Emma wanted to believe it, and looking at Regina, she didn't see any of the emotions she was expecting to see. There was love, conviction, kindness, hope. She was right, there had to be a way. Emma hadn't gotten to this point in life by being a quitter, she fought back. Holding a pity party wouldn't do any good. "Okay, fine, what's our next step?"

"That's the Charming spirit," Regina smirked, patting her on the shoulder. "How about sleep? I hear that's great for fresh-faced Dark Ones."

With a chuckle, Emma agreed. And then she glanced at the table. The dagger. "What's your plan with that?"

Regina picked it up, and twirled it in her fingers. Emma breathed sharply at the feeling. The pull was back. Except now it wasn't a pull so much as a feeling of some kind. "Have you been holding the dagger the whole time?"

The brunette glanced at her in confusion. "Except for a few moments at the diner and after I summoned you, yes. Why?"

"I can feel you. Your emotions I mean," Emma hastened to add.

"Fascinating. It must be a defense mechanism," Regina breathed, glancing at the silver blade.

Emma made a face. "Defense mechanism?"

Regina nodded. "Yes. When a person holds the dagger, they compel the Dark One to do anything they want. Knowing their emotions, you could certainly twist it, find weaknesses, make the other person doubt wanting to use you for anything."

That made sense. It protected her, in a way. "Emotions seem like they would be a small inconsequential thing to know."

Sitting back, Regina regarded her closely. "Not exactly. What emotions did you get from me?"

"You feel sadness, regret, and worry too. Over what though?"

"Not what, who," Regina corrected. "You, Emma. You sacrificed yourself for me and why? I have experience in dealing with the darkness."

"Exactly. Look how far you've gone to redeem yourself, I couldn't let you throw all of that away," Emma explained, looking away.

"And that's ground to throw your light away? Why risk it all for me?" That was the one thing that just didn't fit for Regina. Emma could be reckless, but even she knew that there would be serious consequences for this. This wasn't something she could just finagle out of, like the Charmings were wont to do.

Unbeknownst to the two women, Regina's grip on the dagger, however languid it was, still prompted Emma to tell the truth.

"Because I care about you, a lot really. You're more than just my friend, you're my family, and I couldn't let you have to fight this battle again." Emma frowned at her forwardness, and then glanced at the dagger.

Regina followed the line of sight and then dropped the ancient blade onto her lap, regret pulsing through her before she lost contact of the dagger. "My apologies, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine," Emma waved it off with a soft smile. "But now you know I mean it."

Indeed, Regina felt the answer reverberate through her heart. Some of the wording though...did Emma feel the same way? Now wasn't the time. She cleared her throat and picked the dagger up. "Come on."

Emma automatically stood up, and Regina groaned, realizing her misstep. "I'm sorry, there's-"

"It's okay Regina, I'll follow," Emma softly reassured her.

Together, they both walked into the kitchen, curiously enough. Was Regina going to insist on feeding her?

"You asked what my plan was, in regards to the dagger. Keeping the dagger with me at all times is dangerous, so the only solution is to hide it in plain sight. Just another knife in the household." Regina walked over to the knife block, and pulled out the large meat cleaver. Holding it with her left hand, she held up the dagger next to it, and took a deep breath. When she exhaled, purple mist surrounded it, and when it dissipated, the dagger looked just like the cleaver. She placed the glamoured dagger in the cleaver's place, and then opened a drawer, already hosting a variety of other utensils and cutlery, depositing the original cleaver on top, before hip-checking it closed. She smiled satisfactorily. "There. Now no one can get it."

Emma gave her a fond smile, one that Regina had grown accustomed to in their months chasing down the author, seeing her for lunches and late night drinks. "Thank you. Just so you know, if I had had a choice, I'd have picked you to have the dagger."

"Not afraid I might use it for myself?" Regina asked playfully.

"Considering that all you could want isn't exactly in my purview, I doubt I'd be much use to you," Emma shot back just as playfully. "Unless you're planning an early April's Fool Day, I'm all in for that."

Regina hummed. "I'll consider that offer. But now, we should sleep. I have an extra room made if you want to use it."

Emma accepted, not having anywhere else to go - her parents' house out of the question while the air hadn't been cleared - and they made their way to the stairs.

But someone was already waiting there.

"Henry?" Emma breathed.

"Mom, you're okay!" Henry launched into her arms and hugged her tightly, Emma reciprocated the gesture just as tightly.

When they broke apart, Emma wiped a stray tear from her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Are you-" he ventured to ask, unsure how to word it.

Regina stepped in before anyone could add anything, and said, "We'll solve this together Henry, but now you should be asleep."

Henry gave a sheepish smile and shrugged his shoulders, as if to say that they couldn't blame him for waking up and sneaking downstairs. Together, they went upstairs and to sleep, not thinking of the day ahead.

* * *

Emma didn't get much sleep. She tried to, she really did, but her eyes would always shoot open, and her mind would whirl with yet another worry.

What if someone came in the dead of night and stole the dagger?

What if she woke up with the insatiable urge to hurt someone? Like Henry? Or Regina?

All those thoughts converged and expanded, twisting into something more horrifying that had her go downstairs to the kitchen, checking over the knife block to make sure the disguised dagger was still there. Once there, her thoughts turned back to her comatose spirit guide, Gold. A quick flick of her hand had her out of the pyjamas Regina had leant her, and into the clothes she was wearing earlier. She could feel the thrum of magic there as she called it forth, satisfied it was being used.

Without another thought, she took herself back to the well. Gold wasn't there. She frowned. It was bizarre, he should be there. Unless he was awoken. No, she would've heard about. But still, she transported herself to Gold's shop, appearing inside it. As it was the middle of the night, the shop was empty, save for Gold's slumbering body in the back room's cot. "Gold, if this is a joke..." she growled. But the man didn't waken, still clearly in his coma. Why he wasn't at the hospital was a mystery. The other mystery was how she knew he'd be there.

She whipped around when she heard some rustling, raising her hands, ready for an attack.

"Oh! Emma." It was Mother Superior.

"What are you doing here?" Emma demanded, eyes narrowing.

The fairy didn't look the slightest bit affronted at the accusing tone, she merely tilted her head and responded, "I could ask you the same thing. But if you must know, Belle requested a protection spell to be placed around the shop. Your barging in triggered it, and I came to check on Mr. Gold."

Emma's nostrils flared at the condescending tone. That was quite some dedication, she wanted to spit back, but she settled with, "I was checking the same thing."

Without waiting for a response, she left, leaving only wisps of light grey in her wake. To Mother Superior's trained eyes, she could decipher what it meant. The Saviour's magic was being corrupted little by little with every time she used her magic.

* * *

As Emma appeared once more in Regina's house, she was facing a very frantic Regina Mills.

"Where were you?" she asked, eyes wide with worry.

Emma felt repentant for just up and leaving. "I couldn't sleep. I went for a walk."

Regina looked sceptical. "A walk,  _really_? It doesn't look like you went for a walk, especially if you're returning via magic."

There was no need to lie to Regina, so Emma explained about comatose Gold appearing to her at the well, where she had been stuck until Regina had summoned her. By the end of it, Regina looked pensive. "If the dagger is your genie lamp, then perhaps you need to be told to go back into it in order to see him again?"

She had also come up with a similar conclusion. "So will you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Send me back."

To Regina, Emma could've just told her she decided to eat paint, the reaction would've been about the same. "I'm sorry, I must've heard wrong. Are you seriously saying you  _want_  to go back to that little bubble with the darkest man around and ask him for what? Advice?"

"I need to know what's coming!" Emma's voice rose a bit at that.

" _What is_  coming?"

Regina's soothing tone made Emma calm down a bit. But the worries were like a spider web. Break one string, but the majority of it was still intact and it'd certainly be reconstructed soon enough. "This darkness, I need to be prepared. Please, just give me an hour in there to talk to him. I don't want to go into this blind."

"Emma." The way Regina said her name gave her a chill. It was the perfect amount of caring and worry. "Whatever happens, we will resolve this together."

"Please," Emma insisted.

Against her better judgment, Regina sighed and walked into the kitchen, drawing the glamoured knife. Apprehension. That's what flooded Regina's emotions.

"Why are you so afraid of Gold?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Regina leveled her with a glare. "If you forgot, he honed in my dark side using primarily words. Words that you are not immune to. I'm worried that your question and answer session with Gold will do more damage than good."

"I can handle it." They held a staring contest for a few moments, but eventually Regina gave in.

"Fine. One hour and I'm calling you back out," Regina reminded her. After a nod, she cleared her throat and held the dagger out horizontally in front of her. "Emma Swan, I release you from your duties for now, you may return whence you came."

Before she had fully disappeared, Emma quipped, "Fancy olden English you've got there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was it for this chapter!
> 
> Hiding the dagger with a glamour in the knife block was just an inspired hiding place I figured would be quite hilarious. Imagine accidentally forgetting which knife it was, and beginning to chop up food with it.
> 
> I'm also not too convinced on the whole 'no sleeping for the Dark Ones because they don't need sleep', it sounds a bit too perfect really, so that won't be a thing here. Now, no sleeping because of paranoia and wandering thoughts, that's totally a thing.
> 
> Since it's the holidays, I make it a thing to offer double updates to each fic, so in a few days, I'll have an update for everyone!
> 
> I'd love to know your thoughts.


	4. Slowly Coming Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright!
> 
> Interest seems to have dwindled a bit for this, I hope it's going to pick up again...
> 
> If there is something that seems like it's taking away from the story, please let me know! Or maybe there's been too many Dark Swan stories, who knows.
> 
> But anyway, let's move on!

When Emma opened her eyes, she was back by the well. Except now she could see Gold, still sitting, cane in his hands. "Colour me surprised, Ms. Swan, I didn't expect to see you return."

Rather than offer a response, she just charged right into the slew of questions she had. "How the hell is this possible? I went to the well and you weren't there."

"The magic of the dagger, dearie. This is a self-contained world," Gold explained with a smirk, gesturing around him. "You can only access this place, and me, by being dismissed by the dagger's owner."

Emma's mind whirled as she tried to make sense of this. "So no one but us can be in here? Or see us?"

Gold nodded. "Now you're getting the point. It's a reminder, so to speak. You must have an owner to access this place, but it's a cage. I could see you approach the clearing earlier, but I could neither say nor do anything to get your attention. Here, you are powerless to interfere."

"And the only way to get out is for the owner to free us out of here?" Emma continued, connecting the dots. She was essentially trapped here unless someone fetched her from this bubble world. "Damn, it's a pretty crippling weakness to have."

With a grimace, Gold added, "And why do you think I was so adamant to never allow anyone to find out about this? It'd be disastrous should someone find out, and use it to their advantage, so if I were you, I'd keep a tight lid on this new discovery. It does have a few interesting caveats, if I'm not mistaken."

Looking interested, Emma wordlessly prompted Gold to continue.

"Imagine anywhere you want to be, and watch as the surroundings change," Gold instructed, and Emma did as she was told.

Suddenly, she wasn't standing next to the well, but rather, inside Regina's living room. Gold smirked.

"How not surprising as to where we ended up. But thank you for proving me right."

"How could you not know more about this?" Emma asked. Gold always gave the impression of knowing absolutely everything, it was peculiar that he wouldn't be more informed.

And so he explained. There were two ways to become a Dark One. To either kill the previous Dark One, or to have the powers transferred to themselves. If it was the former, like Gold, life went on normally and they were thrust into the life of darkness without pause. But if the powers were transferred, then they would get this other experience, with a stay in this pocket dimension until summoned.

Emma nodded slowly. She looked around and saw that she was looking at everything as it was happening out in the world. She could see Regina through the door, holding the tumbler from before, swishing her drink and glancing at the clock in the kitchen, the glamoured dagger on the counter top in front of her. "So basically if you started with a blood-lust, you don't need the 'how to be a Dark One' tutorial?"

Gold frowned at the example, but nodded. "Essentially. Think about it this way. I am alive to guide you, as far as I can consider myself alive. My predecessor was murdered, so there's not much he would've been able to offer me as a dead man. "

"But why the well? Out of all the places to have me start off, why there?"

"Perhaps because it's the source of all magic in this town, and the darkness loves power, which is derived from magic," Gold said with a bit of a flourish.

Emma bit her lip, Regina's caution echoing in her mind, reminding her to be careful with how she talked to the man in front of her. "So now what?"

Gold sat down on the couch, not at all in a hurry to answer. "Well I suppose, judging by Regina's position and glancing at the clock, she's quite desperate to pull you out of here. So you go out and continue wreaking havoc."

"But that's just it, I don't want to be dark."

"You should've thought of that before you went and took on the darkness for our beloved mayor. Taking on the darkness to protect someone, it's quite a noble endeavour, usually it's greed and power that fuels someone to become the Dark One."

"Probably why you didn't get this experience," Emma muttered. "But it doesn't answer what I asked."

Gold stood up and marched over to her, face composed with thinly veiled anger. "Listen to me. You can't escape it. You forget I have lived through this, and trust me, you can't survive with your good will intact. You will come to see this, and you will be back again. I know it, and the future never lies. Best if you just accept it now."

Oh Emma wanted to let her anger out onto the smug bastard. Instead, she decided to focus. She was not planning on coming back here, Regina had been right. "You said the future never lies...you have powers of clairvoyance? I thought that was a Dark One thing?"

"No, I gained that from a witch. A very rude woman I might add. So the powers are mine to keep. My heart might have been cleansed of the darkness, but don't think I am a new and changed man. I have my agenda."

"I bet." Emma just crossed her arms and resigned herself to wait the rest of the time out in silence.

But of course, Gold had to add, "Just one last thing. If you leave here, I will be left inside your home, since I can't move my location. I don't think you want me to continue intruding, so might I ask you to take me to my shop's backroom? I'd like to be somewhere familiar...with Belle."

Stopping herself from biting back that this wasn't her home - it kind of was, but she didn't want to admit that to him - she silently recalled the room she had been in earlier, and the next moment, they were there, Gold's real body lying on the cot, and the shop deserted. They still said nothing to one another, except for a brusque nod from Gold for agreeing to his request.

When Emma left a few minutes later, Gold smirked and made his way to the cabinets, pulling out some ingredients. Perhaps he had lied a bit about his knowledge regarding this world, or the fact that he could very much interact with objects in here, despite being an invisible apparition. But no matter, he had to get to work.

* * *

Regina visibly sighed when Emma returned, offering her a soft smile. "How did it go?"

Emma explained, and Regina comfortingly tried to assuage her. Truth was, she wanted to hug Emma, it was the least she could do after the Sheriff saved her from such a dark fate, and the alcohol helped her to move her body and engulf the blonde in a hug. Emma eagerly accepted it, and Regina might have heard a sob, before it was quickly swallowed and the two just stood in silence, not needing to say anything really, the motion spoke for plenty. Emma wasn't alone.

So together, they finally felt better to go to bed back in their respective bedrooms. Emma's sleep was fitful and restless, and when she woke up for the next day, she could feel her exhaustion bearing down on her. Heading downstairs, Emma was met with both Regina and Henry eating breakfast, and she greeted them with a terse smile that Regina saw right through, but kept quiet in favour of asking her if she wanted coffee.

"It's okay, I'll get it from Granny's. I wanted to take a walk first," Emma said, already heading out before Regina could stop her or ask her to tell her what was wrong.

It turned out she should've probably taken Regina's coffee and avoided Granny's altogether. When she showed up there about an hour after she left Regina's, she instantly realized her mistake. Word would've spread about her new darkness, and everyone was watching her as if she had arrived to curse their newborn and take away three decades of their lives. Now she knew without a doubt as to how Regina felt.

In fact, if anything was likely to make her rage in anger, it was this blatant paranoia and mistrust over just seeing a person. But, in an attempt to not give in to her dark side, she just ordered her breakfast to go, and was almost home free, when her parents showed up.

She could've groaned out loud at seeing them, she was not in the mood to deal with their simpering attempts at an apology. So she tried to leave.

Key word: tried.

"Emma..." her mother's voice sounded so remorseful, like she was trying to convey a thousand meanings in that one simple word. Unfortunately for her, Emma wasn't interested.

"Can we just not do this?" Emma asked, wondering if poofing out of there would be seen as too 'teenage rebellion'.

"Emma, you disappeared yesterday, and you didn't even tell us you were back or what happened to you," David added, sounding hurt.

"Maybe because I didn't want to talk to you guys? In case you had forgotten, I still haven't forgiven you for for what you did."

Her parents looked apologetic, but rather than rebuff her accusation, Mary Margaret instead suggested they move to somewhere more private. Knowing that she was set to have this conversation with her parents whether she wanted it or not, Emma agreed, and together, they went over to the Inn via the hallway at the back of the Diner. Once there, her mother led them to Granny's office, currently unoccupied, and they all sat down. She sat by herself, while her parents obviously sat together.

Mary Margaret decided to start. "Emma, you must know that we deeply regret what we did. If we had known Lily, we wouldn't have done this to her."

Emma let out a bitter laugh. "Bullshit. You'd have found some other baby to have put my darkness in, and we'd be having the same argument, just over another person. Not that it did a lot of good in the end huh? I mean, look at me."

Neither David nor Mary Margaret wanted to admit how eerily similar Emma sounded to Gold at the height of his manipulative reign. Not in timber perhaps, but the snide remarks and brutally truthful statements. And so, instead of answering Emma, Mary Margaret tried again. "We were afraid Emma, surely you can understand that? We wanted to protect you from the darkness."

"Don't tell me you actually believe that drivel?" Emma scoffed. "You don't care about protecting me; hell you don't even care about me at all, you just care about yourselves."

"Emma!" David exclaimed, eyes wide, brows furrowed, shoulders square and back stiff.

They watched as Emma just sat more languidly now, crossing her legs at the knee, regarding them with a calculating eye. "The truth hurts, but look at it from my point of view. I grew up for 28 years thinking you two had abandoned me. Then I get this wonderful schpiel about my being the Saviour and how it was my best chance. And you know what? I believed you guys.

"And then we were in Neverland. And you," Emma turned to glare at Mary Margaret, and the latter knew what was coming, "you said you wanted to have another child, because I was a grown-up and you guys missed out on everything. I didn't even have time to process anything, and when I finally begun to think that it was just the island air talking and that you guys weren't actually trying to replace me, when I came back one year later, you guys were happy as can be with your pregnancy. I had been yet again cast aside. But that's not the worst of it. You guys look at my magic as if it's something to fear. You guys look at me and see all your mistakes."

"How could you say such a thing?" David was shocked. They hadn't even comprehended all that Emma was feeling.

Emma realized that she would get nowhere with them so she stood up, ready to leave after she said her piece. "How? It's the truth, I'm so very sorry if it's not up to your perfect standard. You're not a Disney princess and prince, just like I'm not the Saviour."

"You're our daughter," Mary Margaret ventured, as if she knew that Emma was all but ready to leave them, and this was their last chance to get her to stay. "We love you."

"Love me? Please, no one could love me. I'm-"  _the Dark One._  She had been about to say it, and she froze as she came to the realization. No, it couldn't be happening.

"Emma?" David asked.

She teleported herself out of there, and to the only place she knew she could. She heard her parents' distant exclamations, but it fell on deaf ears as the inn was replaced with Regina's office at Town Hall, where the mayor was working on some bureaucratic matters as per usual.

She looked up when Emma showed up, and was about to make a snarky comment, until she saw Emma's distraught expression. "Emma?"

"Regina...help me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is where I leave everyone until the new year comes along!
> 
> Emma's quite angry and spewing vitriol. How much do you think she'll hold out before the darkness takes a hold?
> 
> Next up: double update of Date in the Name of the Law, and then Such a Heavenly View!
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts about this chapter!


	5. The Catalyst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back!
> 
> I have no idea why it took me so long to post this, I had this ready about a month ago, but I just kept putting it off for some reason. Anyway! We've got quite a chapter, so I'll leave the rest of my talking for the end.
> 
> More angst and more drama, enjooy~

"Emma, what's wrong?" Regina practically scrambled out of her chair to approach Emma, who was looking panic-stricken.

Shaking, Emma dropped onto the chair. "I...I think Gold was right. I _am_ turning into the Dark One."

Regina listened as Emma told her what had happened with her parents. "Emma, I'm sure they don't see you as a monster, nor do they blame you for being angry and needing space."

"No Regina, you don't understand, I _wanted_ to make them feel pain, to make them angry and upset and shocked." Emma felt sick to her stomach at even saying what she was saying, but she had to let it all out, lest she wanted this bitter hatred to consume her.

Regina nodded in understanding. "I can sympathize with the feeling. They hurt you, so you want to hurt them. But take it from someone who has gone through this for decades with the exact same people, and I can safely tell you, it's not something you want to get into. It's a vicious cycle, and nigh on impossible to get out of."

"How did you do it?" Emma hoarsely asked, glancing at Regina.

"Honestly? I don't think I've fully gotten out of it. There are times I want to berate your parents for their sheer stupidity. But between you and Henry, it's doing the trick. Essentially, family can help. Surround yourself with people who love you. You can't go wrong there."

Emma felt numb, but she attempted a smile. "Yeah. I think now I just need some fresh air."

They awkwardly parted ways, both wanting more, maybe a hug or a comforting gesture, but they ended up settling with a nod and a wave.

* * *

Emma was walking down the lake shore, hands in her pockets and mind on other things, when she heard her name being called.

"Emma! Wait up!" She turned towards the sound and found Lily jogging up to meet her.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" Emma asked once Lily was beside her.

"I'm here to clear my mind. You?" Lily responded. She was wearing a hoodie and keeping her head down, a stark contrast to the confident woman Emma had come to know. Clearly she also was preoccupied with her thoughts.

"Same. I suppose you heard?" Emma began walking again as she asked, not wanting to look at her friend, afraid she'd see the same expressions as the customers at the Diner earlier.

Lily kept pace, and said, "Yeah. I suppose it's weird huh? Worlds of difference from when we were young. I'm a dragon and you're-"

"The most evil being on the planet?" Emma supplied.

"I was going to say 'pretty powerful magician'," Lily countered. That surprised Emma, and she looked at her friend, which prompter her to continue with, "I've heard a lot of rumours and hearsay, but come on. My mother is Maleficent, and she is nothing like how I had imagined her, especially considering the movie. So with that in mind, I can't believe you just randomly become evil just like that. I mean, no one just becomes evil at the snap of their fingers, and especially not you, the paradigm of good and niceness since forever."

Emma had to crack a smile at that. "I appreciate the vote of confidence. But it still doesn't stop me from being pissed at my parents for what they did to you."

"I think that makes you sane, not evil." Lily scoffed. "I mean, they did this to _us_ really. They took things into their hands because they felt they could because they feel righteous being the 'good guys'. They did something horrible and you should be angry, rightfully so."

"Maybe I didn't phrase myself correctly. I'm livid and I want to hurt them for what they did," Emma corrected.

"Okay, maybe a little less sane." Lily conceded. Then, she got an idea. "You know, I think what we both need is a stiff drink, and I've heard that the Rabbit Hole here is a pretty good drinking spot. What do you say?"

Emma actually cracked a smile, and together, they headed back into town.

* * *

When they arrived at the Rabbit Hole, everyone stopped to look at them. Almost as fast as they had looked up at them, all the bar's patrons had ducked their heads and were whispering amongst themselves.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Emma said, turning around to leave.

But Lily just gripped her arm -with what Emma supposed was her dragon strength - and made her stop. "No. We can't let them intimidate us. They have prejudices against us, let's prove them wrong."

And so Emma acquiesced, and the two women went to sit on the stools by the bar. They hadn't even ordered their drinks before things got out of hand.

"So! Maleficent's spawn and the new Dark One walk into a bar…" a voice began boisterously. Raucous jeers prompted the voice to continue, and Emma saw Jefferson standing to the side, shit-eating grin plastered on his face, and a glass of what looked like whiskey in his hand.

"Buzz off Jefferson," Emma muttered.

"Oh no, I don't think I will. See, me and the boys were talking, and we're thinking of starting a movement. Upheaval of the police force in this town. Ever since the curse broke, it's been one thing after the other. Chaos, mayhem, curses, you name it. So, what better way to prevent that than by getting an actual police force that isn't based on the Evil Queen's pets, or Charming nepotism?"

Emma ground her teeth before she composed herself and let out a mirthless laugh. "That's rich coming from the guy who kidnapped me and my mother in order to get me to break the curse. What's wrong? Didn't get what you wanted?"

Her tone was mocking and Jefferson slammed his hand on the counter, his whole body shaking in anger. "Don't you dare try to spin this around -"

"Or what?" Emma interjected, not even deigning to look at him.

Jefferson clearly took it as a personal insult, so he grabbed her arm, obviously trying to get her to give him her undivided attention.

It worked, insofar that it got Emma to whip her head around, but her livid expression made Jefferson falter in a way that he stumbled back.

"Don't touch me," she uttered slowly.

Jefferson's demeanour changed completely and he stuttered a meagre, "I'm sorry, I just-"

"You just what?"

Jefferson's mouth moved soundlessly, eyes wide and face pale.

Emma's scowl deepened, this was boring her. She had to speed this along. So, in a lightning fast move, she plunged her hand into Jefferson's chest. "I asked you a question. So answer me."

Before he could answer, she had yanked her hand out, holding Jefferson's heart in her palm.

There was a collective gasp, every single person in the bar looking at Emma and Jefferson. Lily was unsure what to do, captivated by her friend's actions. When she managed to kick herself into action, Lily subtly took her cellphone out. Her mother had no phone, so she texted the only other person whose number she had.

"I'm really sorry, please forgive me," Jefferson pleaded, looking at his heart forlornly.

Emma inspected the heart in her hand. It had quite a large black spot within it, and she smirked. "Well what do we have here, a blackened heart. You haven't been much of a saint, have you Jefferson?"

"Please," he whispered. "I'll do anything."

"Anything?" she repeated.

Jefferson nodded energetically, desperate for anything that would get his heart back in his chest.

Emma scoffed scornfully. "That means nothing to me. I hold your heart in my hand, I can _make_ you do anything."

"I beg of you." Jefferson was near tears.

"Maybe you should have thought before you acted? Known who you were going up against?!" She squeezed his heart a bit, getting him to cry out in pain. "You are a monster."

Emma was fully prepared to squeeze the heart further, wanting to see Jefferson squeal. Her face had contorted, as if she was pervasively enjoying this.

But before Jefferson could even attempt to say anything, the door swung open, revealing Regina.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief and hoped Regina had arrived in time.

Emma froze at seeing Regina there, and it was like she had woken up from a lucid dream. Her face fell and she gasped. She looked at the heart in her hand and at Jefferson, sobbing on the floor.

She looked to the people around the bar, everyone sporting looks of disgust or fear.

Regina slowly made her way over, hands ready to call up her magic, as she was unsure of how Emma would react, or even what her state of mind was.

Emma gulped and set the heart down on the counter. With another glance around the room, she disappeared in a puff of grey smoke leaving everyone bewildered at what they had just seen.

* * *

Less than fifteen minutes later, paramedics were on the scene, scrambling to calm everyone down. The entire bar had been evacuated as there wasn't enough space inside to treat and deal with everyone.

Not that anyone minded, the place had been tainted with the violence they had seen, so now they were now all huddling outside inside the crisis zone the paramedics had set up.

Meanwhile, half the town was creeping around outside the area, trying to find out more about what was going on.

After Regina replaced Jefferson's heart onto his chest - the man still hadn't stopped shaking - Regina saw that the Charmings were buzzing around inside the crisis zone. She surmised that David had used his power as the acting Sheriff to get Snow inside with everyone, trying to help provide comfort to anyone she could.

She saw David was clearly trying to bring some semblance of safety to the area as he marshalled groups of people to interview them over what had happened. Surprisingly enough, his plan was working, as the mood slowly grew less sombre.

Until, one chilling second later, everyone fell quiet.

A pained yell broke cut through the town, and with a pang in her chest, Regina just knew that it was Emma screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was all for this time!
> 
> Emma is taking a turn for the worse, dun dun duuuun...will she be able to get out of this? Who knows! But she's distraught and clearly going through some issues here.
> 
> And I know, I know, I am evil beyond compare, but I promise I will try my best to not take an entire year to update again.
> 
> While you wait, I'll be updating Date in the Name of the Law, followed by Such a Heavenly View!
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts!


End file.
